Week 3 Story: The Iliad, Apollo Style

When the Greeks insulted me by stealing my loyal priest's daughter and refusing to give her back, I knew they had it coming. The Greeks' entitlement and arrogance had gone too far this time. They desecrated my temple, insulted my priest and blatantly ignored any warnings I had given them through him.

At this point, I cannot be held responsible for anything horrible I do to them.

So, as phase one of my diabolical "I Hate the Greeks" rampage, I sent them the plague.

Since the Greek king Agamemnon came into existence, kicking and screaming, I knew he would cause nothing but trouble. As the entitled brat grew, I warned the other gods that we should do something now, rather than later when he became a man and exerted his will on others. Now, Agamemnon has assembled the Greeks outside of the walls of Troy, threatening them day after day. He calls himself the leader of these forces-- he takes all the rewards of their conquests and doesn't lift a finger. If the Greeks are so ignorant as to let him lead them, maybe it would be nice to help them lose the war and send Agamemnon squealing back to Mycenae.

After the plague I sent kills a good portion of the livestock and the horses, I let it start killing the men. One by one, they fall, until so many have died that Achilles, the fabled Greek warrior and a favorite of Athena, attempts to convince Agamemnon to apologize for offending me. An argument ensues between the two of them-- it's difficult to have so many dominant personalities in one space. But, as my luck would have it, I end the day with both the offering and sacrifices I desired, as well as the promise that Achilles will no longer fight for Agamemnon and the Greeks. With this development, the Greeks will surely be defeated.

My plan is going so smoothly, and I didn't even have to do anything. How nicely some things work out, isn't it?

For quite a while afterwards, the Greeks fight my precious Trojans on the beaches. With a little assistance from me here and there, the Trojans come closer to setting the Greek ships ablaze every day. Finally, when it looks like a Trojan victory might be inevitable, I see a man in the armor of Achilles ride into battle with the Myrmidons. To my dismay, this takes the Trojans by surprise and encourages them to flee in fear of the warrior. I roll my eyes in exasperation-- can't they tell that this isn't Achilles, just Achilles's right-hand man wearing his armor? Idiot humans.

I watch the fighting eagerly, wondering what might happen with this strange turn of events. Patroclus, the brave but arrogant man in Achilles's armor, kills Trojans left and right. When Sarpedon, a great warrior, falls to Patroclus's spear, I decide it's time to get involved.

As Patroclus tries to climb the wall of Troy, I push him down and warn him to back off. Unsurprisingly, the petulant idiot doesn't listen to me. What am I, a lesser god that pathetic humans can decide whether or not to listen to? Do I not command respect?

As Patroclus starts toward Prince Hector, I get a little angry. Out of spite, I influence Hector and give him the desire to kill Patroclus. I even cut the back of Patroclus's neck to blind him and make it easier for Hector to do his job. Eventually, Hector does his job perfectly. As far as humans go, he's not so bad.

Of course, Patroclus's death causes an unusual ruckus between the Greeks and the Trojans, but I decide that my work is done for the day, so I relax and watch the goings-on. Eventually, Achilles comes to the battlefield, scares my Trojans back into the city and claims the body of his beloved Patroclus. He curses Hector all night long, and vows revenge. Because I know the gods, and because I know Achilles, I know this won't end well for Hector. It's too bad, really. But, humans reproduce much like rabbits, so there will be more humans for me to favor eventually. Not everyone can be immortal.

The next day, Achilles kills Hector brutally, and I watch with slight dismay as this happens. I tried to distract Achilles, really I did. I influenced that scared little human Agenor to provoke Achilles, and then pretended to be him after he ran away when Achilles advanced. But, eventually, when I thought I had fooled him, I revealed myself to him to gloat a bit. My plan backfired, however, when Hector decided to stay outside the wall and face Achilles head on. If Hector has no sense of self-preservation, how am I supposed to help him? What's the point of all my effort?

Plus, I think the city of Troy might survive without him, anyway.

After Hector's death, the Greeks and the Trojans agree upon a truce for nine days. For nine days, I watch the Trojans mourn. They cry and have lavish funerals and feasts.

For nine days, I watch the Greeks build a large wooden horse. I wonder what they'll be doing with that.

A small statue of Apollo. Source: Wikimedia Commons.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Why hello, everyone! I hope you enjoyed my version of part of Homer's Iliad from the Greek god Apollo's point of view. I just thought he would be an interesting character to include because he supported the Trojans in their war against the Greeks for 10 years, until they finally lost. If you haven't read Homer's Iliad, it's the story of the Trojan war and its major events. My reading specifically started where the Greeks took the priest of Apollo's daughter as a spoil and Apollo's resulting wrath ensued. From there, Achilles and Agamemnon argue about what to do about the plague, resulting in Agamemnon taking Achilles's spoils for challenging him and Achilles refusing to fight in the war. This continues until Patroclus dies, igniting Achilles's wrath upon Hector and the city of Troy. 

BIBLIOGRAPHY

"The Iliad" by Homer, retold by A.J. Church. Web Source: UnTextbook.