Feedback Strategies: Giving Feedback Instead of Praise
This week, I learned about the difference between giving feedback and praise. Our natural instinct (at least mine is) is to give people praise where it's due- that's how positive reinforcement works. If you praise a good action, that action will happen again in the future to get more praise. But, in the articles I read this week, I learned more about how handing out praise isn't always effective, especially when you want something to change.
In the article "Five Reasons to Stop Saying Good Job," author Alfie Kohn describes the value (or lack thereof) of telling kids "good job" when they do something good. The article says that telling kids "good job" after they do something correctly creates praise-hungry kids that might not do the task as well in the future, and only work toward the favorable judgement of others. The article even mentions that telling children "good job" when they do something we like is a form of manipulation that primarily benefits ourselves. I think this is a really interesting perspective, because I had never thought of this issue in that way before. I have always thought that telling someone "good job" meant you were being supportive and helping them stay positive, but I had no idea about the consequences of this. In the future, I think I'll definitely try to give more specific praises when needed, and less often, so that they don't lose their meaning, and they actually do their job instead of causing unwanted repercussions.
Another important thing about giving feedback is understanding where to draw the line between giving constructive feedback and being rude and nit-picky. In the article "How to Give Feedback Without Sounding Like a Jerk," author Adam Grant advises against using the "compliment sandwich" when delivering feedback. This is another bad habit of mine: when I give someone bad feedback, I don't want them to feel horrible about themselves, so I layer in some good feedback with it in order to soften the blow. This is not an effective method, though, because it makes any good feedback sound insincere and can diminish trust between the people communicating. According to the article, it's important to remain straightforward and transparent in delivering your feedback and emphasize that no one is perfect (not even you). I think this is important because, at some point, we'll all have to give negative feedback. It's best to know how to do it so that the message gets across and no one's feelings are unnecessarily hurt.
I recognize that I have a lot to learn when it comes to giving feedback. I hate hurting other people's feelings, and I always want to make sure that everyone feels comfortable in the environment we're in. I think reading these articles was beneficial because it showed me that less is definitely more in regards to praise, and there are ways to give helpful feedback without making someone cry or hate me. I'm definitely going to use these strategies in the future.
In the article "Five Reasons to Stop Saying Good Job," author Alfie Kohn describes the value (or lack thereof) of telling kids "good job" when they do something good. The article says that telling kids "good job" after they do something correctly creates praise-hungry kids that might not do the task as well in the future, and only work toward the favorable judgement of others. The article even mentions that telling children "good job" when they do something we like is a form of manipulation that primarily benefits ourselves. I think this is a really interesting perspective, because I had never thought of this issue in that way before. I have always thought that telling someone "good job" meant you were being supportive and helping them stay positive, but I had no idea about the consequences of this. In the future, I think I'll definitely try to give more specific praises when needed, and less often, so that they don't lose their meaning, and they actually do their job instead of causing unwanted repercussions.
Another important thing about giving feedback is understanding where to draw the line between giving constructive feedback and being rude and nit-picky. In the article "How to Give Feedback Without Sounding Like a Jerk," author Adam Grant advises against using the "compliment sandwich" when delivering feedback. This is another bad habit of mine: when I give someone bad feedback, I don't want them to feel horrible about themselves, so I layer in some good feedback with it in order to soften the blow. This is not an effective method, though, because it makes any good feedback sound insincere and can diminish trust between the people communicating. According to the article, it's important to remain straightforward and transparent in delivering your feedback and emphasize that no one is perfect (not even you). I think this is important because, at some point, we'll all have to give negative feedback. It's best to know how to do it so that the message gets across and no one's feelings are unnecessarily hurt.
I recognize that I have a lot to learn when it comes to giving feedback. I hate hurting other people's feelings, and I always want to make sure that everyone feels comfortable in the environment we're in. I think reading these articles was beneficial because it showed me that less is definitely more in regards to praise, and there are ways to give helpful feedback without making someone cry or hate me. I'm definitely going to use these strategies in the future.
A gif of sweet Norbert giving a high five. Source: Giphy.
I found this assignment very interesting, especially in modern day educational settings. I think society often sees criticism as rude or offensive, however, constructive feedback is the only realistic way of personal growth and improvement. I am a people pleaser, so it is hard for me to be open without feeling like I hurt someone's feelings, but I just need to realize that it is only more harmful to only affirm them.
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